There is a difference between transparency & vulnerability. Transparency is saying where you’ve been. Vulnerability is sharing where you are. (creds to my sweet team leader clara). I tend to mix the two together. This is something the Lord has been teaching me this past week. What does it look like to step into community in the highs & the lows? – a question the Lord has pressed onto my heart.
I had a pretty hard day, missing my family & fear of falling into seasonal depression. Instead of falling onto my team, I removed myself & became distant. It actually led to conflict & unrest on our team. This isn’t what the Lord calls us to do. “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity” Psalm 133:1 – the Lord reminded me of this – convicting me. I was able to take this and change the way I acted later on – REPENTANCE!!
It’s really hard for me not to be home right now – my family is in the midst of grieving. I want to hug my family. to cry with them. to mourn with them. because I can’t do this – the Lord gifted me with such a beautiful community & family here on the race. After hearing the Lord a few days earlier, I allowed my team to hug me. to cry with me. to mourn with me. That’s vulnerability & empathy – the ability to express your wounds & be affected by the wounds of others. My team demonstrated this so beautifully. Jesus wept with Mary & Martha when their brother Lazarus died. Jesus came & he wept. I see Jesus sitting next to me, holding me, & weeping with me. I see Jesus in my team – holding me & weeping with me. I love the picture that Jim Branch paints in the Blue Book of weeping – a gentle release of water that washes, baptizes, and renews. The Lord keeps track of our sorrows. He collects our tears in His bottle & records each one in His book. All the tears we have shed cannot begin to compare with the ones He has shed for us. Tears tell us about who we are & that God is speaking to us through him. What a glorious image. I love the Lord. He’s so good & so calculated.
Praise be to God! Praise be to Jesus! Hallelujah that Jesus wept! Jesus WEEPS!!
Grace & peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ!
AUBREY
I’m so proud of you for pressing in and allowing those around you to love you the way Jesus wants you to be loved. love you!!
❤️love you and praying with you!
What wise words!!! John 11:33 says– “When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.”
Brandon and I are praying over you & your team!
Thanks for sharing your journey, All of it. And being vulnerable. Proud of you Aubs!